Choosing Forgiveness
The Power of Choosing Trust (Even After the Hurt)
—William Arthur Ward
There’s a moment in life—maybe you’ve lived it too—when something small breaks something big.
A misstep. A misunderstanding. A missing apology.
And before you know it, what was once closeness turns to coldness. A wall you never intended begins to rise.
You tell yourself: I’m fine. I’ve moved on.
But somewhere inside, you know better.
You haven’t moved on.
You’ve moved away.
That’s what happened to me.
And it took me two years to find my way back.
A Table, A Birthday, and a Break
It was my birthday. The day had been beautiful—leading a meaningful family service, sharing lunch with dear friends, a walk under sunny skies.
That evening, we were set to attend a community fundraiser. My husband Bob and I were excited to celebrate, laugh, and sit with our group of friends—people we’d raised our children with, cried with, danced with. They were our people. Our pod.
But I didn’t feel fine.
I felt blindsided. Rejected. Hurt.
And I let that hurt linger. I nursed it. I built a wall.
And for months—years—we avoided each other at events, walking in opposite directions. Silent. Distant.
I kept waiting for an apology that never came.
They showed kindness later—bringing us food when my mother-in-law passed away.
But I couldn’t see it then.
My pride was still louder than my heart.
The Oneness Step Begins in the Heart
There’s a beautiful teaching in Leviticus, often overlooked:
“Do not place a stumbling block before the blind.”
I realized the blind one was… me.
I had placed a block of ego, pain, and pride right in my own path.
I wasn’t living aligned with the values I speak and teach—values like compassion, humility, curiosity, trust.
I had lost my oneness—with them, yes, but more importantly, with myself.
Eventually, in a quiet moment of backyard reflection, I did something simple and radical:
I looked up to the sky and whispered to God,
Help me forgive.
Help me release the bitterness.
Help me remember the good.
Help me return to love.
That was the beginning of choosing forgiveness—and reclaiming peace.
Choose Forgiveness to Reclaim Oneness
Oneness is not about perfection.
It’s not about everyone behaving the way we want.
It’s not even about receiving the apology we think we deserve.
It’s about making peace with the parts of ourselves we’ve been ignoring—our hurt, our fear, our ego—and gently guiding them back to alignment.
When I called our friends and reopened the door, something unexpected happened:
The friendship didn’t just return—it deepened.
That man who never called to apologize?
He later became the one person who went to bat for me, working behind the scenes to ensure I received a severance package when I left my synagogue job.
That woman who sat at the “desired” table?
Now she sits at our Shabbat dinners and danced at our daughter’s wedding.
We joke about table arrangements now.
Because when we choose forgiveness, joy finds its seat again.
What Oneness Really Means
In Choose to Be Your Own Champion, the Oneness step invites you to trust your values again.
To listen to the wisdom of your future self.
To imagine who you can become when you finally let go of what weighs you down.
You do not need to wait for the apology.
You do not need to prove your pain.
You only need to ask:
Is holding onto this pain serving my peace?
Choosing forgiveness is a gift you give yourself—first.
And it’s the bridge back to oneness.
Reflection Questions
Where are you holding onto a grudge that is costing you peace?
Can you name the emotion that’s protecting your ego but suffocating your joy?
If your wiser, older self could speak to you, what would they say?
Your Champion Action Step
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Your story may help someone else choose healing.
Next week, we enter the Strategy step: how to build your support circle and remember—champions are never alone.
With compassion and humility,,
Dorice
Dorice Horenstein, renowned as the “Oy to Joy” International Champion Catalyst Speaker, transforms Disconnection to Engagment and tactics into practical strategies! As a Positive Intelligence expert and best-selling author of Moments of the Heart: Four Relationships Everyone Should Have to Live Wholeheartedly, Dorice energizes and motivates global audiences to uncover their inner champions. With a background in educational leadership, she has made the world her platform, fostering positive cultures by empowering individuals to overcome challenges, build resilience, and find joy, leading to personal and professional growth.
Dorice is a dynamic speaker whose energy and charisma have a global impact. Her core superpower is her ability to present, train, and coach effectively. She redefines “T.E.A.M.” as “Together Everyone’s Attributes are Magnified,” inspiring others to recognize their strengths, enhance effectiveness, and joyfully step into their destined leadership roles. Her mission is to cultivate healthy, positive relationships that reduce stress, increase retention rates, and create a more positive culture both at work and at home.
