Toxic vs Genuine Positivity

July 18, 2022 by Dorice Horenstein

Toxic vs. Genuine Positivity

I am often invited to speak about genuine positivity in the workplace. And typically, a conversation about the differences between “toxic” positivity and the message and the tools that I bring forth comes up.

I think there are three levels to this issue:

What Is Toxic Positivity?

Let’s start with the word toxic. It connotates a sense of damaging, poisoning—the opposite of positivity, which brings out feelings of togetherness and unity.

Are you familiar with the feeling of walking into a meeting and talking to an individual who acts outwardly positive (i.e., smiles, “let’s do this” attitude), yet the more you listen and participate, the heavier the sunken feeling in your stomach becomes?

Is that toxic?

What I’ve Discovered

Toxic positivity is when it causes others not only negative feelings, but negative thoughts that translate to behaviors and actions. In some cases, the person who demonstrates toxic positivity may not even realize the effect they cause.

Toxic positivity may sound cheerful, but it creates disconnection. Genuine positivity—rooted in authenticity and curiosity—fosters trust and growth.

The Threefold Impact of Toxic Positivity

Toxic positivity impacts individuals, relationships, and environments:

1. It impacts the individual “living” it.

When toxic positivity is heightened, chances are that the universal saboteur, known as The Judge in Positive Intelligence® terms, has taken over. Their perspective is clouded with an unrealistic sense of control, yet they are in denial of their own actions.

2. It impacts others.

People begin judging the individual as insincere or fake.

3. It impacts the environment.

The team culture, the organization, or the group in which toxic positivity appears.

When this happens, individuals show up not in the spirit of collaboration and connectivity but in strife and division. They avoid real conversations that lead to authentic relationships. They find cliques within the workplace. They’re not encouraged to be or do their best because they sense a lack of trust in one another or the organization's mission at large.

How Do We Know It’s Toxic?

When I contemplate “Why does it affect us this way?” or “How do we feel it in our bodies?” I realize again the wisdom of our physical selves.

There is a mind-body connection—our human ability to viscerally feel the difference between what is authentic and what is not.

Toxic positivity does not come from an authentic place. It comes from our saboteurs, from fear-based patterns like control—not from a place of curiosity, joy, or gratitude.

A place of love, a place where our human Sage resides, is not being accessed.

3 Ways to Recognize Genuine Positivity

Use these prompts to help you distinguish between toxic and genuine positivity:

1. Ask yourself:

Is the person’s positivity an embodied value or simply a tool to manipulate an outcome? Is it focused on results—or does it truly support people?

2. How does it make you feel?

Do you feel encouraged, creative, collaborative, curious?
Or do you feel uptight and guarded?

Be sure to use discernment—not judgment—when you reflect.

3. Observe the person:

Do they seem anxious, pressured, or stressed?

Or do they appear aligned with the present moment, seeking growth for themselves and others?

When Facing Toxic Positivity

Ask yourself:

When you operate from authenticity and presence, you can both get the results you want and feel the joy of anticipation for what’s to come.

The Bottom Line

Toxic positivity is unsustainable.

Not for the person who carries it.
Not for the person who receives it.

Eventually, the word positivity fades—and only the toxicity remains.

Toxic positivity is the opposite of authentic, mental fitness-based positivity, which comes from joy, groundedness, and discernment—not fear, ego, or control.

Genuine positivity comes from a place of curiosity, joy, gratitude, and love—not fear, ego, or control. When we operate from this space, we lead others with authenticity and inspire true connection.

If this message resonates with you:

Let’s Connect

Dorice Horenstein

Dorice Horenstein, renowned as the “Oy to Joy” International Champion Catalyst Speaker, transforms Disconnection to Engagment and tactics into practical strategies! As a Positive Intelligence expert and best-selling author of Moments of the Heart: Four Relationships Everyone Should Have to Live Wholeheartedly, Dorice energizes and motivates global audiences to uncover their inner champions. With a background in educational leadership, she has made the world her platform, fostering positive cultures by empowering individuals to overcome challenges, build resilience, and find joy, leading to personal and professional growth.

Dorice is a dynamic speaker whose energy and charisma have a global impact. Her core superpower is her ability to present, train, and coach effectively. She redefines “T.E.A.M.” as “Together Everyone’s Attributes are Magnified,” inspiring others to recognize their strengths, enhance effectiveness, and joyfully step into their destined leadership roles. Her mission is to cultivate healthy, positive relationships that reduce stress, increase retention rates, and create a more positive culture both at work and at home.