Celebration, Complication and Positive Outcomes

Dorice Horenstein Blogs - Celebration, Complication and Positive Outcomes Featured Photo

I have been out of touch for a while! My son got married, that is why 🙂

Those who know me know that I am a person who loves celebrations! Give me a reason to celebrate. Let me dance, sing and rejoice! And I promise will step up to the plate. I will even do it when no one is watching! The last two weeks have been a continuous celebration of my son’s wedding. 

The wedding took place in NY. We had 7 people arriving from Israel to NY for the celebration as well as over 30 people from Portland, Oregon where we live. We were so honored. The excitement was in the air! 200 guests! My son, Matan, was marrying the love of his life, Ben, who came from an amazing large loving, open, caring family. A dream come true! Really.

 And like any celebrations, as best as they can be planned…there were complications, things that simply were not planned and were not desired…yet, happened.

 Case 1: For months we have been planning a rooftop gathering with cocktails and hors d’oeuvres for the night before the wedding. A celebration for our out of town guests…seeing the skyline of NY. What can be more beautiful and memorable for our West Coast friends…well- 3 days before the event I received an email from the venue that it is simply not going to happen..

 What, I exclaimed?? (That is the Complication part of the email) “What do you mean”, I shouted in my own head? I have 40 people joining us, I am not going to have time to find a different rooftop this late in the game…WHAT NOW? My son and my husband left it in my hands (Let’s be honest- the controller in me demanded it!) 

 I am going to fix this, I promised everyone! We are going to have a rooftop experience…even if..

 I knew I needed to be totally calm (even if I was not at the moment). So– guess what- I DID PQ! Yes, I knew that sharing my dismay in the state I was in will not produce the results I desire. I needed to be calm and laser focused. I called the manager.

 “Dorice, don’t judge, don’t blame, work toward a solution”, I said to myself out loud before the phone was picked up on the other hand. 

 “Remember, WIN-WIN is what you want!” My brain was doing all the talking!

 The manager of the hotel picked up the receiver on the other hand and out of my mouth came the words “Hi Anthony, I am confused and need help. Please help me understand what happened to our roof top reservations since we signed the contract a few months ago?” 

 And then I said… nothing…(so hard, because I am pretty good in going on and on about how unfair it was and bla bla bla..). But I said – nothing. 

 I just allow the manager to speak. And that is where the magic happened, ie- Positive Outcome (the third part of the email’s title). Since he was not feeling attacked, or on the defense, he was able to fully empathize with me. What I heard was that he wanted us to have a good experience. I felt that he was so regretful and wanted to make a wrong right.

 Fast forward a couple of days..did the event took place on the rooftop?? No. It took place in the restaurant on the first level (the picture above is my sisters and I at the restaurant).

Did we receive ample and delicious food selection that was not in the original contract? Yes, we did!

Did we get the restaurant all to ourselves? Yes we did! Did I give them the 5 star review on their service and accommodation? Yes I did!

 ….and as it turned out, the weather was so windy that particular evening that being on the rooftop would have been so unpleasant, not to mention cold! The Universe works in mysterious ways….!

 That is the Positive Outcome, what Positive Intelligence refers to as the Sage Perspective- that situations that seem challenging can become a a gift and an opportunity for positive outcome….only if we let it. How? By training our minds to have the ability to look for the gift and opportunity!

Reflect in your own life:

  1. In the last week or month, or even a year, can you think of a “negative” or challenging situation that yielded positive outcome after all?
  2. How long did it take you to realize it? In looking back, do you regret staying in the negative mindset as long as you have?
  3. What do you believe it takes to be consistently in the “Sage Perspective” mindset?

Looking for Case 2? It will come… it will come…stay tune!

As always,

Be Yourself, Be Positive, Be the Champion you want to see!