“Are you done for today?” My husband was coming down the stairs from his home office at about 5 PM. I looked up from my computer and I heard him say “I am done for today.”
This statement stopped me in my tracks. When did I say I am done for today?
Sometimes it takes one sentence to make you pause, and reflect on your own daily habits.
I realized that I have not said I am done for today as long as I can remember. Maybe pre-pandemic. What is that all about?
It made me think of the saboteurs in my head, those inner voices that prohibit me from saying “I am done for today.
Not only that, I realized the impact it had on me. My inability to make this declaration so freely.
If I cannot say “I’m done for today” it must mean that there are some boundaries that I have not established. Boundaries for myself, and perhaps even boundaries between me and the people I work with, or work for.
Let’s discuss boundaries for a second. Boundaries create an increased level of wellness. With lack of boundaries, we feel exhausted, overwhelmed, and even burnout. Am I feeling burnout?
The fear of just saying that sentence causes me to take a deep breath in.
As I delved deeply into the contemplation regarding boundaries and the distinction between boundaries for myself and boundaries with others, I had an interesting observation:
The lack of boundary with myself is the results of my overworked hyper-achiever saboteur. The lack of boundaries with others stems from my Pleaser saboteur.
It is imperative to understand that all saboteurs use and abuse the strength we have. Strength that we were born with, strengths that make us special and unique and who we are!
Someone with a hyper-achiever saboteur is someone who (when operating from the PQ region of the brain) is confident, results oriented, knowledgeable and get things done. Somebody with a Pleaser saboteur (when operated from the PQ region of the brain) is compassionate, empathetic, and good in building relationships,.
But when these strengths are taken over by our saboteurs (that operate from the survival region of our brains), that is when we may not be the best that we can truly be!
So, here are tips of how to handle the burnout from these two perspectives.
If your boundaries toward yourself are stemming from your hyper-achiever saboteur, ask yourself:
- How long can this pace last before the “stove bubble over” (=I get exhausted) and my “dish gets ruined” (=I am unable to function)?
- Take PQ breaks. Every 2 to 3 hours take five minutes and do a PQ brain exercise to promote positive mental patterns. Become clear laser focus and fresh in your mind.
- Celebrate the process not only the success in the outcome. The outcome will be whatever it will be. The importance is to celebrate that and turn it into a gift and opportunity if it’s not the outcome you desire.
If your boundary challenges are stemming from your relationship with others, try these tips.
- Give your gifts and talents from your sage brain. Explore the joy and giving unconditionally and expect nothing in return. Do it because you want to do it.
- Ask yourself: How are you getting your needs met?
- Learn to say no. Understand that a no is a yes to something else.
- Contemplate how strong is the pleaser in you.
Remember that when you experience burnout you can’t give what you don’t have.
Make sure that your own batteries are fully charged and ready to go.
So what do you need to do right now to keep your batteries going?
When can you say “I’m done for today?”
I am done.
If you are not sure what are your saboteurs,
Take the self-saboteur assessment for yourself! It is free!
Here is the link:https://view.flodesk.com/pages/6154dbec337f1c2aacf533bd
And then reach out to me so we can talk about ways of decreasing your saboteurs and increasing your sage and thus gaining your champion within!