Reflections

How to Grow Your Curiosity (and Why It Matters More Than You Think)

July 3, 2025 by

How to Grow Your Curiosity (and Strengthen Your Emotional Intelligence Along the Way)

Last week, I had a conversation that stayed with me. One of those moments that makes you pause—not because of what you said, but because of what they said.
Two people engaged in a thoughtful coffee conversation, demonstrating emotional intelligence through active listening and genuine connection.
This brilliant individual, clearly accomplished and introspective, told me he was taking emotional intelligence classes. That caught my attention. But what really struck me was what he shared next:
He was working on improving his curiosity.
Wait, what? Curiosity? Isn’t that something we either have or don’t? Like a personality trait or a childhood phase?
But the way he explained it opened a door in my mind. He told me that in every interaction now, he intentionally asks more questions. If someone gives an answer, he asks a follow-up. Then another. And another. Not to interrogate, but to engage. To explore.
He was training his curiosity muscle.

Emotional Intelligence Starts With Curiosity

That got me thinking.
Curiosity isn’t just a tool for learning—it’s a gateway to connection. It’s how we show interest, not just in facts, but in people. And that, my friends, is emotional intelligence at work.
Whether we’re communicating in our personal lives or practicing emotional intelligence in the workplace, our ability to stay curious—especially when it’s hard—can transform the way we lead, listen, and live.

Judgment and Curiosity Can’t Coexist

As I reflected, I realized something else. Curiosity, at its root, begins with a lack of judgment. It begins when we release the need to evaluate what we’re hearing and instead just… be with it.
When we ask questions from a place of wanting to understand, not label or conclude, something shifts inside us. We grow. We connect. We spark joy in ourselves and others.
This mindset is at the heart of developing emotional intelligence. It’s not just about learning techniques—it’s about changing how we show up in the world.
two people practicing emotional intelligence

Two Types of Curiosity (And Why Both Matter)

Now, I see two kinds of curiosity:
  • The curiosity to Learn – the facts, the data, the “what.”
  • Curiosity to Understand – the context, the why, the emotional landscape behind the answer.
And the big question is this: Why are we being curious?
Is it to build a skill we can check off a list? Or is it because we genuinely care about deepening our connection to the world and people around us?
If we’re truly seeking to grow in leading with emotional intelligence, then curiosity can’t be a performance. It must be a posture of the heart.

3 Grown-Up Confidence Tips You Can Use Today

Come Without Judgment

Leave your assumptions at the door. Let go of the urge to “figure someone out” or solve a situation too quickly. Real curiosity means sitting in the not-knowing and being okay with it.

Seek Understanding, Not Just Information

Learning gives us facts. Understanding gives us empathy. Go beyond the surface—ask what’s underneath the words. What’s the emotion? What’s the story they’re not saying?
This is a principle I often include in my emotional intelligence coaching sessions with leaders.

Ask One More Question

If someone answers your question, try asking one more. And then maybe one more after that. Stretch your curiosity by diving deeper. This is how trust builds, and how insight grows.
These are micro-practices I offer in emotional intelligence training for leaders looking to enhance their impact.

Curiosity Is a Choice—And a Superpower

Curiosity is not just a trait. It’s a choice. And like all great choices—it requires awareness, intention, and heart.

So the next time you find yourself in a conversation, try pausing. Instead of preparing your response, prepare your question. Let it be fueled by wonder, not judgment.

You might be surprised not only by what you learn—but by how deeply you connect.

Let’s choose curiosity. Let’s choose understanding. Let’s choose each other.

Until next time,
Always Be Positive. Confidently Be Yourself. Every day, Be the Champion You Want to See.

Let’s Talk

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Connect with Dorice
Dorice Horenstein

Dorice Horenstein helps organizations bring out the best in their people by creating a path to human flourishing under pressure. An international keynote speaker, Mental Fitness and Positive Intelligence® expert, and author of Choose to Be Your Own Champion and the best-selling Moments of the Heart, Dorice brings more than 30 years of leadership and education experience to her work with leaders and teams.

She equips people with the Champion Mindset and practical tools to think clearly, choose intentionally, and act confidently when it matters most.

With infectious energy, humor, and practical wisdom, Dorice transforms stress into clarity, disconnection into meaningful connection, and everyday challenges into opportunities for growth. Her unique approach connects brain and heart—combining neuroscience and mental fitness with decades of leadership experience and universal wisdom.

Dorice inspires people to rise to their Champion Level, strengthen relationships, and create workplaces where people and performance flourish together.

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