Feeling Sad? How Disappointment and Resentment Can Lead to Growth

November 25, 2020 by Dorice Horenstein

Feeling Sad? How Disappointment and Resentment Can Lead to Growth

When Plans Fall Apart and Emotions Take Over

This past weekend, I found myself feeling sad after canceling a long-anticipated trip to visit our children on the East Coast. My daughter and her husband just bought a home, and we were excited to see it. Even more meaningful, our son and his fiancé were driving down from New York to join us. A full family gathering—what could be better?

So when the conversation about canceling began, you can imagine my reaction.
Let’s be honest: I felt angry. I felt disappointed. I felt sad.

Why Am I So Sad Over a Change in Plans?

Bob, my husband, was the first to gently suggest canceling. My gut reaction? Frustration. “Why do we have to change our plans? We’ll be careful! We have masks, visors, gloves. We even booked a direct flight!” I protested.

But the universe chimed in. Our airline sent an email: the direct flight we carefully chose had changed. A long layover in a crowded airport was now added. It was almost like a divine message whispering, “Rethink this.”

At first, I resented Bob for bringing up the change. Yes—I am a mental fitness coach, and still, I had to wrestle with my own emotions. That’s real. That’s human.

"Feeling sad is human—but staying stuck is optional. Mental fitness gives us the power to shift from pain to possibility."

The Shift: From Feeling Sad to Finding Strength

In the past, I would have stayed upset for days. I would have worn my disappointment like armor. Maybe even punished others emotionally for making me feel this way.

But this time, something shifted.

Instead of spiraling into self-pity, I paused. I asked myself:

“How long do you want to feel resentful and angry?”
“Is this serving you?”
“Are you keeping your hand on the hot stove, Dorice?”

These are the moments when Positive Intelligence becomes more than theory. It becomes lifeline.

Mental Fitness in Action: Choose a New Perspective

I let myself cry. My dog came over and laid his face next to mine, sensing my sadness. That small act of love helped me soften.

I did a few PQ reps—simple techniques to refocus the mind. Then Bob and I sat down together and looked for what was still possible:

Can we go another time? Yes.
Can we stay longer? Maybe.
Can we find a new way to connect now? Definitely.

This is what it means to change your life—not in grand gestures, but in mindset shifts. To choose the sage voice over the saboteur. To reframe what feels like a loss into a future possibility.

Language, Emotion, and the Wisdom Within

In Hebrew, disappointment is אכזבה (achzavah), which shares a root with lying—כזב (kizev). Isn't that interesting? When we let disappointment define our whole experience, are we lying to ourselves about reality?

Another Hebrew gem: the word for quality is איכות (eichut), sharing roots with where are you (אייכה) and how are you (איכה). Real quality of life comes when we know where we are, emotionally and physically.

Feeling sad is valid. But staying stuck there is optional. The truth is, when we align where we are, who we are, and what we do—we unlock creativity, strength, and peace.

Letting Go and Moving Forward

We all carry a unique basket of struggles. Maybe you’re reading this and thinking, “I feel sad too.” Maybe you’re dealing with your own canceled plans, tough decisions, or unexpected changes.

So ask yourself:

How long do I want to stay in this feeling?
Can I find one thing to look forward to?
What can I be thankful for right now?

Because thankfulness is a feeling, and gratefulness is an action. You don’t need to be perfect. I’m not. You’re not. None of us have a black belt in navigating disappointment.

But we can practice. We can grow. And we can move from sad to sage—from pain to perspective.

Final Thought from a Keynote Speaker Who Gets It

As a keynote speaker and coach, I don’t just teach resilience—I live it. Whether on stage or at home in sweatpants with canceled plans, I remind myself and others: you always have a choice.

You can feel sad.
You can feel stuck.
And then—you can decide to take one small step forward.

Let that be your power today.

When You’re Feeling Sad

Why am I feeling sad for no reason?

Sometimes emotions surface without a clear trigger. They may be rooted in unmet expectations, stress, or unspoken grief. It’s okay to not always know why.

What can I do when I feel sad?

Acknowledge it. Feel it. Then, practice a mental fitness rep—breathwork, movement, or gratitude. Even one shift can redirect your mind.

How do I stop feeling so sad and disappointed?

You may not stop the feeling, but you can change your relationship with it. Ask: What is this emotion trying to teach me?

What is Positive Intelligence?

Positive Intelligence is a mental fitness framework developed by Shirzad Chamine. It helps individuals recognize self-sabotaging patterns and build “sage” mental muscles like empathy, curiosity, and calm clarity.

Can mental fitness really help?

Absolutely. Mental fitness tools build your inner strength so you’re not controlled by external circumstances.

Let’s Talk

If this message resonates with you, let’s connect.

Dorice Horenstein

Dorice Horenstein, renowned as the “Oy to Joy” International Champion Catalyst Speaker, transforms Disconnection to Engagment and tactics into practical strategies! As a Positive Intelligence expert and best-selling author of Moments of the Heart: Four Relationships Everyone Should Have to Live Wholeheartedly, Dorice energizes and motivates global audiences to uncover their inner champions. With a background in educational leadership, she has made the world her platform, fostering positive cultures by empowering individuals to overcome challenges, build resilience, and find joy, leading to personal and professional growth.

Dorice is a dynamic speaker whose energy and charisma have a global impact. Her core superpower is her ability to present, train, and coach effectively. She redefines “T.E.A.M.” as “Together Everyone’s Attributes are Magnified,” inspiring others to recognize their strengths, enhance effectiveness, and joyfully step into their destined leadership roles. Her mission is to cultivate healthy, positive relationships that reduce stress, increase retention rates, and create a more positive culture both at work and at home.