“Who are you?” asked my soon to be married son, when he saw me. It was the Friday evening as the celebration of his upcoming wedding weekend began.
“Who are you?” What does THAT sentence suppose to mean??!!
Who do you think I am… my mind was quickly, quietly and very efficiently firing back. I am your mother who spent three hours with a makeup and hairstylist to try out a unique appearance for your upcoming wedding in two days, I wanted to say. (Look at the top two pictures.)
“Who are you?” He asked. “That is not how I want you to look at my wedding (top two pictures front and back). “It may be pretty, but it’s not you” he said….
“Yes yes it’s me” I wanted to scream out loud. “It’s me…just prettier.” My heart was squeezed and perhaps even figuratively cut into two. Insulted that my own son did not know “who I was.”
Now before you go judging and maybe even protecting me and my heart, let me share that my son is the most loving kind person you’ll ever meet! He is the first one to always complement another human being. He’s empathetic and caring. I knew that “Who are you” was his attempt to say, mom, you don’t need this heavy duty make up and hair to be my beautiful mom.
I knew what his heart was saying.
…. So instead of screaming out loud, I went into the bathroom and for the next 20 minutes I took out over 100 pins that held my hair ( and extensions) together and wrapped it up in a simple bun instead.
My son stood next to me in the bathroom and was helping me to take those pins out of my hair apologizing if he hurt my feelings. It was his weekend, his wedding weekend, and I didn’t want anything to cloud the days ahead. Besides, even if I felt a touch sad, there was NO way under the sun I was going to start crying and smear all the makeup right before 40 people were joining us in a dinner that my husband and I were hosting! After all, I paid a nice penny for this look (however brief it lasted) AND… I know who I am!
So I just kept telling myself that I want my son to be happy on his wedding weekend. I reiterated to myself that it was only hair and make up, that it wasn’t really about me…
“Who are you?” So often for the outside world (friends, family, colleagues), we are what they see we are. We are what they are used to seeing.
“Who are you” also goes deeper beyond the façade of what people see. For my son “who you are” is a call searching for what he loves. The mother that raised him. He wanted the comfort of the mother he is used to seeing walking him down the aisle.
And so he got what he wished, and that’s the two pictures down below. Me just better!
So what is the purpose of this story? A reminder that Who You Are is not about the outside appearance. It is about how others are seeing you without the mask, or the best makeup. And it is not even about seeing. It is about recognizing. Recognizing a person through what they mean to another human being. Recognizing that goes beyond the looks.
So, regard this as your invitation to reflect and ask yourself:
- Do you know Who You Are? (not what you do, not the titles that you have accumulated other the span of your life..And, do other people see what you see?
- How do others recognize your essence?
- If you had to complete the declaration: I am ___________ what would you say?
“Who are you” is a reminder to ask ourselves “Who Am I?” Who am I without the make up and the fancy updo. “What is the essence that that make me recognizable by others?”
One day, I will have the glamorous, out-of-this-world look.
When? On some kind of a red carpet event 🙂
Let’s begin manifesting!
As always,
Be Yourself, Be Positive, Be the Champion you want to see!
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