Reflections

Toxic vs Genuine Positivity

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Toxic vs. Genuine Positivity

A contrast to genuine positivity — man in a business suit with a forced yellow smiley face mask, symbolizing inauthentic expression in the workplace.

I am often invited to speak about genuine positivity in the workplace. And typically, a conversation about the differences between “toxic” positivity and the message and the tools that I bring forth comes up.

I think there are three levels to this issue:
  • 1. What is toxic positivity?
  • 2. Who defines it?
  • 3. What are the implications for all involved?

What Is Toxic Positivity?

Let’s start with the word toxic. It connotates a sense of damaging, poisoning—the opposite of positivity, which brings out feelings of togetherness and unity.
Are you familiar with the feeling of walking into a meeting and talking to an individual who acts outwardly positive (i.e., smiles, “let’s do this” attitude), yet the more you listen and participate, the heavier the sunken feeling in your stomach becomes?
Is that toxic?
Man frowning while holding a smiley clown face mask — representing the contrast between genuine positivity and forced emotions.

What I’ve Discovered

Toxic positivity is when it causes others not only negative feelings, but negative thoughts that translate to behaviors and actions. In some cases, the person who demonstrates toxic positivity may not even realize the effect they cause.
Toxic positivity may sound cheerful, but it creates disconnection. Genuine positivity—rooted in authenticity and curiosity—fosters trust and growth.

The Threefold Impact of Toxic Positivity

Toxic positivity impacts individuals, relationships, and environments:
1. It impacts the individual “living” it.
When toxic positivity is heightened, chances are that the universal saboteur, known as The Judge in Positive Intelligence® terms, has taken over. Their perspective is clouded with an unrealistic sense of control, yet they are in denial of their own actions.
2. It impacts others.
People begin judging the individual as insincere or fake.
3. It impacts the environment.
The team culture, the organization, or the group in which toxic positivity appears.
When this happens, individuals show up not in the spirit of collaboration and connectivity but in strife and division. They avoid real conversations that lead to authentic relationships. They find cliques within the workplace. They’re not encouraged to be or do their best because they sense a lack of trust in one another or the organization's mission at large.

How Do We Know It’s Toxic?

When I contemplate “Why does it affect us this way?” or “How do we feel it in our bodies?” I realize again the wisdom of our physical selves.

There is a mind-body connection—our human ability to viscerally feel the difference between what is authentic and what is not.

Toxic positivity does not come from an authentic place. It comes from our saboteurs, from fear-based patterns like control—not from a place of curiosity, joy, or gratitude.

A place of love, a place where our human Sage resides, is not being accessed.

Hand-drawn word cloud with “Mind” at the center, surrounded by words like emotions, ideas, and behavior. A hand holds a pen as if sketching the concept of genuine positivity with various colored pens nearby.

3 Ways to Recognize Genuine Positivity

Use these prompts to help you distinguish between toxic and genuine positivity:
1. Ask yourself:
Is the person’s positivity an embodied value or simply a tool to manipulate an outcome? Is it focused on results—or does it truly support people?
2. How does it make you feel?

Do you feel encouraged, creative, collaborative, curious?
Or do you feel uptight and guarded?

Be sure to use discernment—not judgment—when you reflect.

3. Observe the person:
Do they seem anxious, pressured, or stressed?
Or do they appear aligned with the present moment, seeking growth for themselves and others?

When Facing Toxic Positivity

Ask yourself:
  • Where can I go from here?
  • How can I come from a Sage perspective, where curiosity and compassion reside?
  • How can I explore and innovate so I respond with genuine positivity?
When you operate from authenticity and presence, you can both get the results you want and feel the joy of anticipation for what’s to come.
Group of four people sitting on the ground, smiling with authentic connection—showing genuine positivity through joy, groundedness, and emotional well-being.

The Bottom Line

Toxic positivity is unsustainable.

Not for the person who carries it.
Not for the person who receives it.

Eventually, the word positivity fades—and only the toxicity remains.

Toxic positivity is the opposite of authentic, mental fitness-based positivity, which comes from joy, groundedness, and discernment—not fear, ego, or control.

Genuine positivity comes from a place of curiosity, joy, gratitude, and love—not fear, ego, or control. When we operate from this space, we lead others with authenticity and inspire true connection.

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