In just a couple of weeks, I will be presenting to women leaders at the University of Memphis. Lately, I’ve been reflecting on what it truly means to be a woman leader. How different is it for women compared to men?
Reflecting on Women’s Leadership Challenges
In my last training, I witnessed a revealing conversation among professional women in the real estate world. They spoke about the expectations men often have of them—“Will you take notes for the meeting today?” or “Can you please make us a good cup of coffee?” They also shared their struggles with imposter syndrome, thinking, “Perhaps I don’t belong here; they all seem so much smarter and better than I am.”
I understand where these feelings come from, but the real question is: What can be done to address them?
The Power of Positive Intelligence (PQ)
This is where Positive Intelligence (PQ) can revolutionize your leadership approach. PQ is the science and practice of developing the right mental habits to improve performance and happiness. While everyone, regardless of gender, benefits from a high PQ, it’s especially crucial for women to stay on their professional path.
High PQ leaders are more aware of their habits—both in thinking and actions—that help them achieve their goals. They recognize what sabotages them and know how to lean into their Sage to explore more solutions. Operating from their Sage allows them to foster a positive work culture, leading to higher engagement, creativity, and productivity. And all that without making coffee a prerequisite!
SAGE Mindset Shifts for Women Leaders
Addressing Unfair Expectations
- Redefine Roles: When faced with unfair expectations, such as being asked to take notes or make coffee, it’s important to redefine your role. Without letting saboteurs hijack you or feeling like a victim, politely but firmly suggest a fairer distribution of tasks. For instance, you could say, “I’d be happy to contribute to the meeting by sharing my insights on the project. Perhaps someone else can handle the note-taking.”
- Set Boundaries: When you are in Sage mode, establish clear boundaries and communicate them confidently. Let your colleagues know what your professional responsibilities are and what falls outside of that scope.
Overcoming Imposter Syndrome
- Acknowledge and Celebrate Your Accomplishments: Keep a record of your achievements and revisit them regularly. Remind yourself of your skills, qualifications, and the value you bring to your team. This practice helps counteract feelings of inadequacy. You are a leader because you have achieved so much—pat yourself on the back! You. Deserve. It.
- Shift Your Perspective: Instead of comparing yourself to others, focus on your growth and progress. Understand that everyone has unique strengths and weaknesses, and your path is your own.
- Practice Self-Empathy: This is the first power in the Positive Intelligence program. Be kind to yourself. Recognize that it’s okay to make mistakes and that learning is part of the journey. Treat yourself with the same empathy you would offer a friend.
PQ Tips and Tricks for Women Leaders
- Identify and Quiet Your Inner Saboteurs: These are the negative voices that undermine your confidence. Recognizing them is the first step to silencing them. Try a 2-minute PQ exercise before every meeting.
- Strengthen Your Sage: Focus on developing empathy, curiosity, and creativity. These traits are essential for positive leadership. Ask yourself: What can I learn from this situation?
- Practice Positive Self-Talk: Replace negative thoughts with constructive ones. Remind yourself of your achievements and strengths. I often say to myself, “I am a champion.” What do you say to yourself?
- Leverage Your Strengths: Identify your unique strengths and use them to your advantage. Encourage your team to do the same.
- Foster a Supportive Environment: Relationships are my second chamber of resilience. Nurture them. Create a work culture that values collaboration and mutual support. This can significantly enhance team morale and productivity.
- Set Achievable Goals: Activate your Sage. Do something that can bring the results you want. Break down larger objectives into smaller, manageable tasks. Celebrate each accomplishment, no matter how small.
- Seek Feedback and Mentorship: Regular feedback and having a mentor or coach can provide valuable insights and boost your confidence.
- Mindfulness and Self-Care: Continue to incorporate PQ practices and ensure you take care of your physical and mental well-being.
Practical Advice for Your Team
Try this with your team: “Let’s spend a few minutes before every meeting doing PQ as a group.” Follow it up with: “Let’s discuss our strengths and how we can leverage them to support each other better.”
Remember, embracing PQ can lead to a more fulfilling and successful leadership journey. By focusing on positive mental habits, you can become the (woman) leader you’ve always wanted to be!
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About Dorice Horenstein
Dorice Horenstein is an internationally recognized resilience speaker who transforms lives through the power of Positive Intelligence. With a background in education and a deep understanding of human potential, Dorice, know as Oy to Joy Resilience speaker, guides individuals and organizations to unlock their inner strength and thrive amidst challenges.
For more insights and tools on building resilience and tapping into your Sage mind, visit doricehorenstein.com. Stay connected and keep growing! If you’re interested in further coaching or bringing me to your company or team, please schedule a time on my calendar.
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As always,
Be yourself, be positive, and be the Champion you want to.
