Reflections

When Fear Meets Confidence-3 Tips

July 3, 2025 by

When Fear Meets Confidence: 3 Tips from a Bathtub Breakthrough

Last week, I found myself in an unexpected moment of wisdom — sitting beside my 4-year-old granddaughter during bath time.
She had just finished a two-week intensive swim course — one of the best in the Philadelphia area.

However, instead of helping her build confidence, the experience left her even more afraid.

On the final day, she screamed at the top of her lungs, overwhelmed by the fear she couldn’t yet name.

Later that night, while she was splashing in the tub (ironic, right?), I gently asked,

“Motek (Sweetheart), why didn’t you want to go to your swim class?”

She looked at me with the honesty only children have:
“I’m afraid.”
“Afraid of what?”
“I’m afraid of the water… afraid I’ll drown.”

To help her process the fear, we played a little game. I raised my left hand high in the air.

“You see,” I said, “when you’re this afraid, your fear is all the way up here.”

She nodded.

“But then, you take one swim class with someone who helps you. And maybe another. And your fear goes down…” (I lowered my left hand slowly.)

“And you know what happens when your fear goes down?” (I raised my right hand.)

“Your confidence goes up!”

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She got it. She smiled. I actually have a video of her in the pool where we talk about it right after her follow-up swimming class… but I’m not allowed to share it. 😢

From Fear to Confidence: The Bathtub Metaphor for Adults

That simple bathtub metaphor speaks volumes for us as adults too.
Whether it’s:
  • the fear of public speaking
  • that fear of failure
  • fear of change
  • Afraid to fail
  • or fear of starting something new
The path to self-confidence isn’t waiting for fear to disappear. It’s learning to move through fear in small, consistent steps.

3 Grown-Up Confidence Tips You Can Use Today

Name the Fear

You can’t shrink what you don’t name.
Ask yourself:

What’s the fear under the surface?

Is it judgment? Rejection? Uncertainty?

Once you name it, being honest is the first step to build self confidence.

Take Micro-Actions

In fact, confidence doesn’t come from overthinking — it comes from doing.
For example, take one tiny step in the direction of your fear. Each action is a vote for your own belief. These are the foundations of every good confidence coaching journey.

Track Your Wins

Celebrate even the tiniest victories.
In fact, each success — even if it’s just making a phone call, showing up, or saying yes — sends a message to your brain:

“See? You can do this.”

This is one of the most effective self confidence tips I’ve seen in action, with clients and within myself.

Build Confidence Like a Champion

Whether you’re four or forty-four (or more), courage isn’t the absence of fear — it’s the decision to keep swimming anyway.
These aren’t just confidence tips. They’re life skills. Rather, they’re the backbone of the work I do in keynotes, coaching, and everyday conversations.
Until next time,
Always Be Positive. Confidently Be Yourself. Every day, Be the Champion You Want to See.

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Dorice Horenstein

Dorice Horenstein helps organizations bring out the best in their people by creating a path to human flourishing under pressure. An international keynote speaker, Mental Fitness and Positive Intelligence® expert, and author of Choose to Be Your Own Champion and the best-selling Moments of the Heart, Dorice brings more than 30 years of leadership and education experience to her work with leaders and teams.

She equips people with the Champion Mindset and practical tools to think clearly, choose intentionally, and act confidently when it matters most.

With infectious energy, humor, and practical wisdom, Dorice transforms stress into clarity, disconnection into meaningful connection, and everyday challenges into opportunities for growth. Her unique approach connects brain and heart—combining neuroscience and mental fitness with decades of leadership experience and universal wisdom.

Dorice inspires people to rise to their Champion Level, strengthen relationships, and create workplaces where people and performance flourish together.

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