Last week, I had a conversation that stayed with me. One of those moments that makes you pause—not because of what you said, but because of what they said.
This brilliant individual, clearly accomplished and introspective, told me he was taking emotional intelligence classes. That caught my attention. But what really struck me was what he shared next:
He was working on improving his curiosity.
Wait, what? Curiosity? Isn’t that something we either have or don’t? Like a personality trait or a childhood phase?
But the way he explained it opened a door in my mind. He told me that in every interaction now, he intentionally asks more questions. If someone gives an answer, he asks a follow-up. Then another. And another. Not to interrogate, but to engage. To explore.
He was training his curiosity muscle.
That got me thinking.
Curiosity isn’t just a tool for learning—it’s a gateway to connection. It’s how we show interest, not just in facts, but in people. And that, my friends, is emotional intelligence at work.
As I reflected, I realized something else. Curiosity, at its root, begins with a lack of judgment. It begins when we release the need to evaluate what we’re hearing and instead just… be with it.
When we ask questions from a place of wanting to understand, not label or conclude, something shifts inside us. We grow. We connect. We spark joy in ourselves and others.
Now, I see two kinds of curiosity:
Curiosity to Learn – the facts, the data, the “what.”
Curiosity to Understand – the context, the why, the emotional landscape behind the answer.
And the big question is this: Why are we being curious?
Is it to build a skill we can check off a list? Or is it because we genuinely care about deepening our connection to the world and people around us?
If we’re truly seeking to become more emotionally intelligent, then curiosity can’t be a performance. It must be a posture of the heart.
So how can you grow your curiosity?
Here are three powerful shifts to try:
1. Come Without Judgment
Leave your assumptions at the door. Let go of the urge to “figure someone out” or solve a situation too quickly. Real curiosity means sitting in the not-knowing and being okay with it.
2. Seek Understanding, Not Just Information
Learning gives us facts. Understanding gives us empathy. Go beyond the surface—ask what’s underneath the words. What’s the emotion? What’s the story they’re not saying?
3. Ask One More Question
If someone answers your question, try asking one more. And then maybe one more after that. Stretch your curiosity by diving deeper. This is how trust builds, and how insight grows.
Curiosity is not just a trait. It’s a choice. And like all great choices—it requires awareness, intention, and heart.
So the next time you find yourself in a conversation, try pausing. Instead of preparing your response, prepare your question. Let it be fueled by wonder, not judgment.
You might be surprised not only by what you learn—but by how deeply you connect.
Let’s choose curiosity. Let’s choose understanding. Let’s choose each other.
Until next time,
Be Positive, Be Yourself, Be the champion you want to see!
PS: I speak on resilience, communication, and how to cultivate intentional leadership that leaves others feeling seen and supported. Want to explore bringing this message to your team?
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And as always,
Be Positive. Be Yourself. Be the Champion You Want to See!
